I met Vivian within a few weeks of one of my best friends being diagnosed with breast cancer. After learning that Vivian had written a book about her experience, I quickly asked if I could be among the first to read it. I was not disappointed: I read it within 24 hours of getting it, and was the first person to post a review on Amazon.com. I am so grateful for Viv’s story, and so thankful that she’s participating in the Words That Changed My World series. Also, I have a free copy of Vivian’s book “Warrior in Pink” to give away. Leave a comment after this post to enter!
The book about my cancer journey released on April 1st. When God began opening the doors for the book to be birthed, I had to learn a whole new world: query letters, book proposals, literary agents, pub boards, platform, shopping a manuscript, and on and on. My learning curve was almost a vertical up and down. Now I am familiar with these publishing terms, but the same feelings of being overwhelmed have been replaced by a new set of fears: launching a book, juggling a growing travel and speaking schedule, live radio interviews, fiddling with another proposal for book number two. I circle around again to that familiar feeling of inadequacy, of not being ____________ enough, of being way in over my head. Part of me wants to fall into a hole and take a long nap.
Like the Israelites who needed reminding and re-reminding, I needed a perspective restorer which came from my husband, Darrin, two years ago. His words changed me. They shifted my thinking entirely.
On the phone, during the pause before a connecting flight to his ministry meetings, Darrin shared these wise words:
“We don’t have control over how the Lord blesses or gifts us. We are stewards of what He shows us to do and to be. This (the writing) for you is an act of worship.”
An act of worship. That changes everything. It alleviates the pressure of having to “make it happen” or control the outcome of this whole crazy adventure. Darrin encouraged me to just write. Where God would take the book was completely in His hands.
When I first started blogging during cancer treatment, every entry felt like an act of worship. I wrote from my heart and there was no striving, no proofreading. It was holy ground. I still have much to learn about the nuts and bolts of writing and trust that those things will come as I continue, but more important is the posture of my heart.
And today, as I sit feeling fearful and inadequate about the road ahead, I’m reminded of the simple truth of dedicating my heart and actions to the Lord.
Looking back over this two year book publishing adventure, I see God’s faithfulness. His purposes will be accomplished. My choice is to shift the pressure of trying to control the outcome, which I fully know is an illusion, to that of opening my hands and lifting my works to the King.
This act of worship spills over into every area of life. In the mountains of unending laundry, the helping with homework, walking the dog, conversations with the neighbor, the everything of the everyday. Stewarding well our lives, our experiences, our relationships, our stuff, is a form of worship.
You and I have been entrusted with leading in various places and in various capacities. All of it is an act of worship.
And in our worship our purpose and prayer is to life Jesus high.
“For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.”(Romans 11:36 NASB)
Vivian Mabuni joined staff with Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ) 25 years ago and has served on the UC Berkeley and UCLA campuses and on the Epic National Executive Team (Epic is the Asian American ministry of Cru). Vivian enjoys teaching and training college students at conferences and retreats and speaking at women’s events. She is the author of “Warrior In Pink: A Story of Cancer, Community and the God Who Comforts” (Discovery House Publishers). She has been married 22 years to her husband, Darrin, and is mom to three wonderful kids, Jonathan (20), Michael (17), and Julia (12). They live in Mission Viejo, California along with their German Shepherd, Koa. Connect with her at the following places: