A mom’s momentary insight on God and sex

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest

what does God think about

In my years of campus ministry, I was often asked questions about sex:

What does God think of sex?

What’s the big deal about premarital sex?

How far is too far?

And why are Christians so UPTIGHT about this issue?

If sex is supposed to be a good thing, why does it seem like God is a prude about it?

I struggled my way through those questions as best I could as a single person, and then later as a married person… but now as a parent, it makes sense to me in a new way, and I write this in the hope that it might shed a little light for you too.

I confess that for most of my life, if asked “What does God think of sex?”, my answer would have been that His attitude was somewhere between “disapproving” and “indifferent”. Disapproving if you weren’t married. Indifferent if you were.

I remember what a shock it was when we did pre-marital counseling and we were reading things about God’s approval of and delight in sex: He created it and he was “present in the bedroom with us”. After years of imagining God as either disapproving or indifferent, this was a shocking and shameful thought…. but on the other side of marriage I realized it was no longer shameful. But I didn’t really ever give the matter of “God’s view of sex” much thought again.

However, one night during a bout of insomnia when my mind was pondering all sorts of things: why do we call it a ‘monkey’s wedding’ when the sun shines and it rains at the same time? why does asparagus make your pee smell? how could I have answered that question about sex better?…

… Suddenly, it dawned on me that I have a new paradigm through which to think about this issue: the lens of parenthood. There are MANY (wonderful, life-saving, grace-filled and comforting) things about God-as-parent I have learned from being a parent, and this one was new and so very helpful to me.

You see, God is our PARENT. As loving parents, we do not view our children with something between “disapproval or indifference”. The spectrum of emotion of a loving parent ranges between wild and joyous delight on the one hand, and and utter horror and fear for their safety on the other! Either way, you are emotionally involved. And either way, you are filled with love and goodwill towards your child. And because you love them, what makes the difference between wild delight and utter horror is context.

Allow me to illustrate (with thanks to google images):


A parent is filled with heart-filled, grab-the-camera, gushing sentimentality when their child discovers the joy of snuggling with pets:




Unless that pet is a bone-crushing snake:




A parent is overwhelmed with the cuteness of a kid’s first sweet kisses of affection:




… unless you think your kids’ object of affection is a pig.




A parent loves watching their kids’ joy as they lick the cake-batter:




Unless there’s an electrocution hazard involved:




A parent laughs out loud at the joy of watching their kid discover new tastes and textures:





… depending on the ick-factor of the said tastes and textures:




A parent takes cutesy pictures of their kids learning to use tools around the house:




… Unless the outlets aren’t covered and it would be unwise to delay intervention:



In each of these instances, the kid is doing something ‘natural’ and ‘innocuous’: playing, exploring, interacting, learning; and in each of these cases the kid is happy, curious, and blissfully unaware.

What makes the difference between a parents’ “aw sweeeeet!” response and “NOOOOOOOOO! Stooooooopppppp!!!!!” response is not necessarily the activity involved (snuggling, using tools, eating etc), which are not dangerous activities in themselves. It’s the CONTEXT in which it is done, since the parent with their wisdom and experience is able to assess a danger which the kid cannot. To offer another example, there’s nothing wrong with drinking green liquid from a cup… as long as it’s juice and not household cleaning chemical! (True story from my own life: 6-year-old-me was in hospital for 2 days with a burnt out mouth because I made that mistake)

So here’s this one mom’s momentary insight on God and sex:

It is simply not true that God is ever “indifferent” or “disapproving” on the subject of sex.

God is emotionally involved and invested and passionate about his CHILDREN and he’s emotionally invested in SEX: he made it after all and he cares how it gets treated…. and seeing Him as a PARENT in this issue helps me ‘get it’.

God is not indifferent towards sex in marriage. The book of Song of Songs in the Bible is proof enough that God is VERY pro-sex-in-marriage. Song of Songs is so erotic and racy and vivid at times it made me wonder at its place in the bible. And of course I would wonder, if I thought God was indifferent or disapproving. But neither of those is true. When sex is an activity of His children done in a safe way (and he says that’s marriage), God is joyfully, aw-sweet, parental-pride-and-vicariously-joyful about it. Think proud, joyful, delighted Daddy.

But when that same behavior happens in a context which He, as the wiser older experienced Parent, sees as dangerous and destructive (a road to Death, Proverbs calls it)… He as a parent cries the protective “noooo! don’t do it!!!!!” God is not so much disapproving of sex outside of marriage, as he is deathly afraid for the welfare of his kids.

Think of a kiddo scaling a 40 foot ladder: The kid grins and shouts “look Dad! I’m fine! I can do it!”, proud of the height they have climbed, but Dad sees the crack in the rungs and the deathly drop of the fall.

So our Heavenly Father says: no sex outside of marriage.

Not because He’s a prude, but because He’s a Dad.

And I think that makes all the difference.

Leave a Reply:

29 thoughts on “A mom’s momentary insight on God and sex”

    1. Corrie, you get a prize for commenting. This is far and away the most viewed post ever on my blog, and yet until today no one had commented 🙂 you get the award for breaking the ice!

  1. Asparagus makes our pee smell? I had no idea! Lol. This is such a wonderful message and what a way to drive the topic home! Awesome picture story! Coming by via Sheila’s. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Pingback: Pinterest Party, Summer Projects, and More! | To Love, Honor and Vacuum

  3. Pingback: On C.S. Lewis and being a ‘homemaker’ | bronwyn's corner

  4. Pingback: Don’t hijack my rainbow! | bronwyn's corner

  5. Pingback: I am the immigrant | bronwyn's corner

  6. Pingback: Why I won’t take a stand on gay marriage | bronwyn's corner

  7. This was incredibly well-written and enjoyable to read.

    One thing we have tried to drive home to our four children is that sex in the context for which God created it (marriage, as you pointed out here) is A VERY GOOD THING. In our house, we call it “God’s wedding present”. You can open it out of context. But then you break it, and it doesn’t work as well later because it was opened at the wrong time.

    I especially liked how you framed God as a kindly, concerned parent who wants only good for His children. If only everyone could see Him that way!

    May God bless you and your writings and ministry.

    Best Regards,

    “GwennonR” SAHM mom of four

    1. Hi gwennon, thanks so much for your comment! As our kids grow older, we hope to share that same perspective with our kids: sex as a very good gift, given by a very good Parent 🙂

  8. Pingback: Top 10 posts of 2013 | bronwyn's corner

  9. Pingback: The One Thing Marriage Does That Living Together Doesn’t

  10. Pingback: A mom’s momentary insight on God and sex | hilarionphang

  11. Pingback: The intimacy of toothbrushes (and sex) | bronwyn's corner

  12. Pingback: The Case for Excommunication | bronwyn's corner

  13. Pingback: The One Thing Marriage Does That Living Together Doesn’t | bronwyn's corner

  14. Pingback: Can Christians be nudists? | bronwyn's corner

  15. Pingback: Who Should I Date? (Notes from the Trenches of Happily Ever After) | bronwyn's corner

  16. Pingback: Why I Won’t Be Watching 50 Shades of Gray | bronwyn's corner

  17. Pingback: The Real Problem With 50 Shades of Grey - For Every Mom

  18. Pingback: 50 Shades of Grey is Women's Porn - Page 15 - Christian Chat Rooms & Forums

Comments are closed.

Recent Posts

Friend Bronwyn on Facebook Add Bronwyn on G+ Follow Bronwyn on Pinterest Image Map

Never miss a post!

Enter your email below to stay up to date with new blog posts and my monthly newsletter.

Bronwyn Lea

©Copyright 2019

Photo credit: Christa Norman, Mel Draper Photography, and Jonathan Summer